The Guilt of Good-bye

It's never easy saying, "Good-bye."

The price of sharing one’s life with dogs is knowing that their time with us is short.  Although dogs can live to 15 to 20 years, many dogs don’t make it to that point for a variety of reasons, some beyond our control.  When our dogs die, most of us expect to feel the grief of loss.  But some of us also carry an element of guilt with our grief, even if we strongly believe that we acted in our dogs’ best interest, the guilt never fades.

Early on in our lives, we learn about the responsibility that comes with bringing an animal into our home.  Whether a goldfish or a dog, we learn that our pets are completely dependent on us for food, water, shelter, and safety.  If we do not feed or give water to our animals, they die.  If we do not provide them with safety, they die.  Animals learn very quickly that it is only through us that they are able to live.   Unlike children, we never teach our animals to live independently of us.  In fact, we groom dependency.  And that is the basis of our relationship with our furry (and scaly) companions, we love them and promise to care for them, and they trust us.

With dogs, we spend the first year or so building trust with them, assuring our dogs that we will provide for them, not put them in danger, not harm them, and will assist them in times of need.  We then spend the rest of their lives together following through on that promise.  We train, play, and travel with our dogs. We become not only their source for basic life needs, but also for the finer parts of life:  fun, comfort, and companionship.  But that makes it all the more complicated when we reach The End.

When our animals die suddenly, we wonder what we could have done to prevent the untimely death.  Did we fail in our responsibility to them?  Did we exercise the right amount of caution?  Did we care for their health enough?  And then there are the times when they don’t die suddenly, when pain becomes unendurable or when happy or even comfortable moments become fewer and further in between, until they don’t come at all.  At this point, our dogs turn to us, trusting that we will help them once more.  But what if there is only one solution to ending the pain, to ending days of misery?  How do we decide if and when to bring about that end?

Our dogs do not have the luxury of choice.  They have a survival drive, something that compels them to fight for life.   We don’t know if they understand the concept of their own death.  Dogs do not have a concept of an afterlife.  They don’t know about the “Rainbow Bridge.”  Then again, when the body begins to shut down on its own and appetite declines, dogs don’t force themselves to eat. 

In a test done with laboratory rats, rats were put in pain and given the ability to self-administer morphine, which they did, but not to the point of being “stoned.”  That experiment suggests that given the choice, animals want to be pain free, something that seems fairly obvious but is also complicated when we can’t explain to them that the only relief from some pain is death.  Dogs live in the here and now, which is one of the traits that makes dogs so endearing, but makes our burden that much harder to bear.

Time spent together is always too short.

As humans, we’re sometimes forced to make a choice and a most difficult one.  Do we let our dogs, the ones who put their complete trust in us, continue to endure, knowing that at some point the end will come, perhaps over years, either quietly or with ever more intense pain, but it will come?  Or, do we provide the end to their pain and suffering as they’re asking, but in the only way possible and thereby betray their trust by killing them?  We can use the term “euthanasia,” but even with the kindest and best intentions, our hearts and conscience know that we are taking the life of someone we love, who trusted us to make things better.  There isn’t a right or wrong choice, only what our hearts and minds can bear.

I’ve had nine dogs in my life:  three were dogs with whom I grew up, six were dogs I acquired as an adult.  I’ve experienced the loss of seven of them. Not surprisingly, death does not get any easier with multiple passings.  I’ve learned to accept the hole each dog left behind in my heart.  What haunts me is the guilt.  With each dog’s passing, the questions that always lurk in my heart and conscience return: Did I make the right decision?  If I could have explained what the options were, if my dogs could understand, would they have chosen the same?  Unfortunately, I’ll never know the answers. 

However during their lifetimes, my dogs’ trust in me allowed them to forgive the times I violated their trust either by accident or necessity, the times I’ve tripped over them, yelled in a moment of frustration, or held them while the vet administered a vaccination.  So now I must place my trust in my dogs.  I must trust that if I made a decision that was wrong by them, they’d forgive me once more. It is my trust in their forgiveness that allows me to endure and to share the cycle of love and trust again.
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"Bad" Behavior: Ignore, Manage or Train

Naughty or nice?

The holiday season is here.  Guests arrive or we go out visiting.  We all want our dogs on their best behavior, but that’s not always possible.  Some of our dogs’ “bad” behaviors have always existed.  Some suddenly appear.  And some mysteriously reappear.

When analyzing a behavior, start from a dog’s perspective rather than our human interpretations.  It’s important to keep in mind that dogs don’t categorize their behavior as “good” or “bad.”  They just do what they do.  Most of what we consider “bad” behavior is survival, frustration, or boredom based.  Survival behaviors are often rooted in fear, but can also be food or “reproductive” (looking for a mate) based.   The severity and intensity of the behavior and the potential for harm to humans, other animals, property, or the dog itself should be seriously considered and help with the decision of how to proceed. 

There are three ways for humans to handle “bad” behavior.  We can ignore it, meaning we do nothing at all about it.  This usually means the unwanted behavior will continue unless the dog (or any being for that matter) loses interest in the behavior.  Managing a behavior means doing something to prevent the behavior from happening either by controlling the stimulus that creates the behavior or stopping the behavior before it starts.  Usually management requires some sort of physical intervention.  The behavior won’t appear so long as the management tool is in place; however, the behavior isn’t gone.  It will reoccur when the management tool is removed.  Finally, there is training.  Training is either teaching an appropriate behavior that is incompatible to the unwanted behavior or it is creating a different association to the stimulus of the behavior.  With training, the unwanted behavior can actually cease to exist.

We usually ignore certain behaviors because they are unseemly rather than annoying or dangerous and the behavior rarely happens.  A good example could be corpophagia (poop eating) of cat feces.  While it is disgusting, it isn’t harmful to anyone and if there isn’t a cat in the house, the frequency of the behavior doesn’t warrant the time and energy required to train a dog not to eat cat feces.  We can also “actively ignore” which is when we intentionally do not react or we leave a room when our dogs behave badly in order to gain our attention.  This is actually a form of training since it’s only done for a specific type of behavior and must be done consistently to get results.  I prefer to call it “attention withdrawal” rather than ignoring.  Ignoring means we might not like the behavior, but we don’t care if it repeats on the rare occasion. 

Crates, exercise pens, and child gates are excellent
management tools for a variety of behaviors.

Management is the most frequently used tool for “bad” behavior.  It generally renders immediate “results” because the behavior isn’t given the opportunity to manifest.  Management is putting a child lock on the cabinet door to prevent access to the garbage or putting the dog in a crate to keep it from rushing the front door when visitors arrive.  Forget to latch the child lock or put the dog in the crate, and the unwanted behavior happens. Because we don’t see the behavior, it’s easy to forget that the behavior still exists.  If the bad behavior is potentially dangerous, it’s important to go on to training.  Management should be used when the behavior is annoying, but not harmful and if the behavior happens infrequently.  It can also be put into place to prevent dogs from practicing or escalating bad behavior when they’re learning a replacement behavior.

Training is the only way to actually change an unwanted behavior.  It should be used when an unwanted behavior happens frequently, such as pulling on a leash during a walk, or when there’s a potential for danger, like running out of open doors.  Training is the most time and energy consuming method, requiring consistency and patience.  It can require varying levels of professional involvement.  But, training is worthwhile because it teaches our dogs what behavior we want and can change our dogs’ mindset.  With good training, we can expect our dogs to behave in an appropriate way in different surroundings and under a variety of conditions.  It’s long lasting, although new conditions might require a refresher on the training.  When dogs discover that doing the “right” behavior is more rewarding than doing the “bad” behavior, dogs have additional incentive to change.  They also learn what it is we want, rather than randomly choosing a new behavior.  When there is an emotional component to the bad behavior, training can also help the dog feel safe and content.

Some unwanted behaviors have physiological roots and require medical attention, especially if the “bad” behavior appears suddenly.  A visit to the vet can help eliminate any health issues that are influencing the behavior.  Vets and professional trainers can also work together when there is a mix of biological and behavioral issues, as in the case of separation anxiety or obsessive-compulsive behaviors.

Making sure our dogs’ biological and psychological needs are met can help diminish many unwanted behaviors.  Examining the behavior from the dogs’ perspective can provide insight and sometimes simple solutions.  If our dogs continue to behave in an unwanted manner, evaluating the safety and frequency of the behavior can help us create an appropriate plan of action.  By implementing the plan, we gain confidence in our dogs’ behavior and can once more enjoy their company. 

A Wolf in Dog's Clothing?

A stealthy plan for attack?

In the morning, dogs and humans tumble out of bed yawning, stretching, and shaking out, ready to start the day.  There are scritches and kisses all around and more yawning and stretching.  Sometimes, when one of the dogs does a particularly large yawn that exposes glistening white teeth, I’m reminded of the potential of my furry family members.  They gaze back at me with lazy wagging tails, open mouths that look like smiles especially with their crescent shaped eyes.  It’s amazing that we can cohabitate, confident that we’re in safe company.  But would I feel the same way if they were wolves?

It’s true.  Dogs and wolves share the same DNA.  They are so closely related that they can not only breed, but can produce fertile off-spring, unlike horses and donkeys.  And yet, it’s very obvious that dogs aren’t wolves.  There are some dogs that look like wolves, like huskies, and then there are pugs.  What distinguishes dogs from wolves are the roughly 250,000 years of human intervention.  Humans manipulated wolf genetics to create an animal that likes human company, sometimes preferring it over its own species, that turns to humans for assistance, rather than fending for itself, and that serves human needs.  A domestic dog defies everything that defines a wolf, a skittish animal that is inherently fearful of people and given the opportunity tries to stay as far away from them as possible.

There are occasions when we can see a bit of the wolf peeking through our pets, when our dogs stalk squirrels, when they howl at a fire truck siren, or when they roll in something particularly smelly.  Some breeds of dogs kept a few feral traits, although the breeds that are considered the “older” breeds might surprise people.  One of the oldest breeds is the shar-pei, a wrinkly, relatively short-nosed, short-furred dog that bears little physical resemblance to the wolf.  However, the behaviors humans wanted, territorialism, endurance, and the ability to work unsupervised were behaviors pre-existing in wolves.  Chow-chows, an even “older” breed, shared the same job.  Neither dog is known to be especially affiliative with humans and both are considered “difficult” to train, due to their disinterest in people.  However, as those breeds have become increasingly popular as pets, the need for more people friendly, less territorial versions have arisen, altering the breeds yet again.  Interestingly, huskies, despite their more wolf-like appearance, are a newer breed, selected for their ability to work with people, as well as for strength and endurance for pulling sleds.   Other dogs such as retrievers, herders, and scent hounds, were selected for their “short circuit” in a wolf’s instinct to hunt/stalk, chase, grab, kill, and devour.  Retrievers and herders miss the kill and devour portion.  Scent hounds stop at the hunt stage.  A dog’s appearance sometimes resulted from the selected behavior, but human preference also played a role.

"Yes!  It fits.  It's mine now.  ALL MINE!!"

So why do some people look to wolves to compare their dog behavior?  Even when domestic dogs become feral, as in areas that are war torn or have undergone other human upheaval, they don’t revert to wolf behaviors.  In the wild, wolves form packs based on family structures:  the parents with the pups.  They live together and hunt together and are generally intolerant of interlopers.  Wolf cubs remain with their families for a few years, then go off to form packs/families of their own.  With feral dogs, the female dog fends for herself when she has pups, the father only present for conception.  Once the pups are weaned, the mother has no connection to them and they disperse.  While dogs form packs to hunt, the members of the pack tend to be transitory, making any hierarchy or organization temporary, if it exists at all.  Dogs are opportunists, creating associations with places and creatures as best suit their immediate needs.  When conditions change, they change affiliations as well.

But opportunism works to a dog owner’s advantage and makes for stronger ties.  By treating dogs as dogs rather than wolves, we gain greater loyalty.  When we provide our dogs with a sense of safety and reliability, food, shelter, and fun, they have little reason to leave or change alliances, especially when spayed or neutered.  If home and handler are “the best game in town,” dogs are motivated to remain in that situation.  They’re even willing to make concessions to maintain or improve their condition.  As Dorothy and Toto can attest, “There’s no place like home.”

Learning to Settle

Some dogs need help relaxing

With the cooler weather fast approaching, the thought of relaxing in front of the fireplace with a hot drink and our dog at our side sounds ideal.  However, whether due to breed, age, emotional state, or situation, some dogs have great difficulty calming down, especially once they’ve been revved up.  But it is possible to teach a dog to relax or “settle” and actually enjoy down time.  Like any other behavior, it’s a matter of practice and positive experience.

There are two types of “settle.”   The first is a way of preventing a dog from getting too aroused, too “carried away” during an exciting play session, the second is to show the dog how to unwind and enjoy doing nothing in particular.  Both are variations of teaching dogs impulse control, how to maintain their cool when they’d rather be bouncing off the walls or disemboweling a pillow.  Aside from getting calmer behavior, dogs actually become calmer once they figure out how to channel their energy.

Teaching a dog how to rev down from play involves watching the dog for clues that it is getting too excited, but also providing a cue for the dog so it can learn to identify the feelings associated with what will get it a time out.  Play tug or another exciting game with the dog and keep notes of the different stages of excitement.  Usually, a widely wagging tail, bouncy movements, and perky ears are the initial signs.  As the dog gets more excited, there is usually vocalization of some sort, such as barking or play growling.  When a dog is very excited, the pupils are dilated, vocalization becomes more frequent and urgent, and the dog is less responsive/receptive to communication (commands or another dog’s body language), becoming rude and demanding by jumping, body slamming, or mouthing/biting.  Of course, every dog is unique, so it’s important to know your own dog’s behavior.

Incorporate quiet time with play time.

Starting when the dog is already calm, get the dog interested in playing, then throw the ball or play tug for a few seconds.  Before the dog gets excited, stop the game and give a cue, like “Time out!”  Call the dog to do something pleasant and calm, like getting a small snack and then sitting down for a little bit.  Repeat several times a day, then gradually build up the dog's level of excitement before calling “Time out.”  Time out can also be changing gears, such as asking the dog to do a sit or a down stay for a few seconds before returning to play (play will be the reward).  If the dog is too excited to listen, stop play immediately and walk away.   With practice, you should be able to call your dog out of any level of play, ready for the next task at hand.

Teaching a dog to enjoy “down time” is a little more complicated.  It involves setting up a calm situation and “capturing” the moment, while not riling up the dog again. There’s some debate among trainers about rewarding a relaxing “settle,” mostly because by drawing attention to the dog, the dog often becomes excited again.  Also, the settled behavior should become rewarding in itself.  However, teaching a dog what “settle” means is an exercise in self-awareness, something difficult to teach within our own species. 

Plenty of exercise helps in relaxation.

Identifying the mood for the dog can help set the baseline. When the dog is calm and relaxed, quietly mark the moment by saying something like, “Nice settle, Bella.”  Giving the dog a “settling” area, such as a dog bed or mat, is also helpful.  In single dog households, a tie down and a nice chew toy can restrict the dog’s movement, while rewarding it for being in that location.  Cue the behavior by saying, “Settle.”  Bring the chew toy with you as you put the dog in a tie down.  The dog should be with family members who are also relaxing.  Chewing is a calming behavior and as the dog gets a dreamy look on its face, praise it, “Good settle.”  In multiple dog households, it’s advisable to either put all the dogs on tie down or in a separate area to prevent barrier frustration for the dog on tie-down.

Some dogs get so revved up that they lose a sense of their personal space.  We can use massage and Tellington Touch® techniques to get our dogs “re-centered.”  Surprisingly, many dogs will realize that your touch can help calm them and will seek your assistance when they feel out of sorts.  While this isn’t teaching the dog how to settle, it’s providing a sense of calm that it might not otherwise achieve.

Teaching our dog how to become calm is a gift, not only to ourselves, but to our dogs as well. It can prevent behavior from escalating into a fight, keep our dogs focused on us, and allow everyone a moment to collect his or her thoughts.  It brings peace.  Although our moms warned us not to settle, I think she’d be o.k. in this case. 

Vive la Différence!



Each dog is equally adorable and well-dressed, but vastly
different in personality.

"This dog is SO different from my other dog!”  Whether talking about a new dog that followed the passing of a beloved canine or an additional dog in the household, anyone who’s had more than one dog has thought this at one time or another.  It shouldn’t be surprising, but when a new dog looks similar to the former dog or if the dogs are siblings, we tend to expect them to be more alike.  Time, nature, and nurture all create different personalities in our canine companions and that’s what makes them interesting and unique.

Dogs certainly share common behaviors and tendencies as a species, but spending time with a variety of dogs reveals that all dogs are different.  Not all dogs love to play fetch.  Some like to play tug.  Some like to chase.  Some like to just hang out.  Not all dogs like to be touched.  There are dogs that love lots of activity.  There are other dogs that prefer quiet.  Each dog has its own personality and preferences.  And like people, no two dogs are exactly alike.

Many of us try to recapture a part of a well-loved dog who has passed by acquiring a puppy of the same breed, perhaps even from the same breeder.  We want the puppy to be similar to its predecessor, but we forget that most of our memories are based on our best and most recent memories.  It’s easy to forget about housetraining, how Great Aunt Martha’s heirloom quilt was ripped to shreds, or the hours spent training and working on “perfect manners.”  Keeping a puppy from the beloved dog’s litter doesn’t re-create the same dog either, since there is the genetic influence of the other parent as well as a different life experience.  Sometimes, it helps to get a different breed or a different gender to remind us that this is not the same dog.

Each dog has its own personality, even if he's a "twin."

What if we like a friend’s dog of a certain breed?  Dogs of the same breed might share breed characteristics, like herding breeds being highly prey driven or scent hounds being easily distracted by smells.  But within the breed, there can be wide variations of personality based on parental temperament, early puppyhood experiences, and training.  The dogs might resemble each other, but don’t expect them to be the same dog.  Not all Dachshunds are alike nor are all Labradors.  That’s a good thing.  Variety is the spice of life.

Sibling dogs within the same litter theoretically have more in common.  However, it’s possible for there to be more than one sire for one litter since dogs have a uterus shaped similarly to a glove. Even with the same parents, dogs can have very different personalities, just like human siblings.  When raising puppy siblings together, there is the additional complication that they tend to bind to each other more than to their human, especially if the human doesn’t purposely take time to work with each dog separately.  The type of interaction with we have with each dog also shapes the dog’s personality, and of course, our relationship with him or her.  With the dogs side-by-side, it also makes it easier to draw comparisons, which can sometimes be unfair.

It’s a natural inclination to make comparisons between dogs, especially after one dog has given us so many happy memories.  But it’s also important to remember that each dog is an individual and special in its own right.  We should respect and appreciate him or her for his or her own wonderful qualities. Once we allow ourselves to do so, it’s amazing to discover that there are so many “perfect” dogs out there and a place in our hearts for all of them.  We just have to learn that “perfect” takes many different forms.

Living in the Literal World

Seeing isn't necessarily believing!

Keeping in the Halloween spirit, there’s been an online trend called “Horsemanning.”  Horsemanning is creating an undoctored photograph that looks like a decapitated body with a head next to it.  What makes it entertaining is that observers know that what they’re seeing is not real.  It’s just an optical illusion.  But what if we weren’t sure?  What if we took the photos for exactly what they represented?  That’s how a dog would perceive the picture.

Dogs are literal thinkers that lack gestalt.  In other words, they are incapable of creating a whole picture when given just parts.  For humans, this is the ability to see the picture in a dot-to-dot, for example, before the dots are connected or to know that when someone walks behind a curtain they are behind the curtain.  This is a learned behavior, which is why young children need to connect the dots in order to see the picture and why peek-a-boo is so entertaining for infants.  Dogs never develop this capability to the same extent as people.  So, when Bob the neighbor walks by behind a wall and only his head is visible, dogs do not assume that the rest of Bob’s body is behind the wall.  Bob’s head is a floating head.  Scary.  When a dog buddy goes home and then goes out into the yard behind the fence, it becomes mysterious disembodied dog.  Scary. It only becomes a buddy again when completely viewed.  Some dogs do learn object permanence, which is knowing things exist, even if they can no longer see it.  If they watch a treat being covered by a cup, they assume that the object remains under the cup.

Literal thinking can also apply to clothing accessories, especially costumes.  Dogs that are unfamiliar with people wearing hats, sunglasses, or even roller skates are seeing bizarre “whole” pictures:  humans with oddly extended heads, frighteningly large eyes, or fast noisy feet.  Costumes aren’t costumes but “real,” which is confusing and frightening for dogs and even young children, who have a similar perception of the world.  Dogs familiar with other dogs can suddenly become frightened of the walking hot dog with their friend’s face.  Despite the strong reliance on scent, a dog’s survival skills prioritize unusual over the familiar.

In addition, dogs base their vision of the world on previous experiences.  They might be able to combine previous experiences into novel combinations, but if they haven’t seen an item before or experienced something before, in their minds it doesn’t exist.   For example, if a dog only goes for walks in the neighborhood and on occasional trips to the vet, when you leave the house, in the dog’s mind you, too, are only going to a walk around the block or to the vets.  The scent information you bring home creates a complicated picture because it doesn’t match with the dog’s knowledge base.  Seeing something even slightly different, such as a person who walks differently or who has hair on his face is an oddity first and human only after safety is established.

New experiences can be disturbing unless most
previous new experiences are positive.

Personality and experience dictate how a dog reacts to new items and situations.  Dogs categorize everything into three categories:  Bad/Dangerous, Neutral, or Good/Beneficial.   That’s why it’s so important for puppies to be exposed to many different people and situations in a positive manner.  If their memory bank is full of good or neutral experiences, they are more apt to expect new experiences to also be good or neutral.  Bad experiences would be seen as “abnormalities,” making the dog more confident and willing to try other new situations.  However, dogs that are genetically inclined to be shy, like shy people, might still be more hesitant in new situations, although not as hesitant as a dog that has had predominantly no experience or bad experiences with novelty.

We can help our dogs to become more comfortable around new situations.  Regularly introducing something safe and new to something already comfortable and familiar can make novelty less threatening.  Preventing or intervening when there is a potential “bad” experience in a new situation can not only build confidence, but increase our dogs’ trust in us.  Not forcing our dogs to go beyond their comfort zone can also help bring confidence.  Allowing dogs to advance on their own into new situations while we give encouragement and incentives can create good associations as well. When dogs know they can trust us to protect them and that we “have their back,” “new” can go from scary to an opportunity for discovery. And that’s money in the experience bank!

Feel the (Brain) Burn

For most dogs, just taking a walk isn't enough

Walking is a time honored tradition for most dog owners.   At the beginning and at the end of the day, we pop the leash onto our furry friend and take our morning/evening constitutional.  Hopefully, it’s some enjoyable time to spend with our dogs, but there is usually a secondary purpose for the walk.  Often times, this journey is a potty break. Sometimes, it’s exploration and investigation time.  Most of the time, we consider a walk our pets’ main exercise.  However, vets and animal behaviorists believe that medium to large dogs should ideally have 2 ½ hours of high energy exercise to maintain optimal health.

Unfortunately,  most of us don’t have the time or space to exercise our dogs at that level, so we need to think of other ways to burn off our dogs’ energy.  One way is to combine brain energy with muscle energy.  Sniffing, practicing obedience, and playing are all ways to help dogs work harder while on their everyday walk.

While it might seem like letting your dog sniff is a time killer, think of it as your dog catching up on the latest news.  Dogs gain most of their information about the world through their olfactory system.  When they sniff an item, they’re learning all about the neighborhood and its passer-bys.  They need to use their brain power to sort this information and make sense of it.  We can learn a little about what dogs discover through scent by watching what our dogs do after sniffing:  Look around?  Look up?  Urinate over the scent?  Kick?  Get excited?  Once you let your dog sniff, you’ll find that certain areas are more interesting than other areas, kind of like following a certain story or news item.  For dogs that love sniffing, the freedom to “go sniff” can even be used as a reward during training.

Practicing cues while on a walk increases your dog's attention
to you and can help your dog become more responsive.

Practicing obedience cues can also make walks more interesting.   Even better, the walk can become a  working breakfast by using kibbles with a little fish oil or powdered parmesan cheese (or both) for treats!  The stop and go, mixing up of commands, and different locations can make the walk more challenging.  Don’t be surprised if your dog doesn’t respond at first to your cues.  Just like students don’t expect to do math in history class, your dog won’t expect obedience cues during the daily walk.  Be patient and start from scratch, using lures like you did when you first taught your dog “sit” and “down.”  Once your dog learns that these words mean the same thing during a walk as they do at home and in class, the responses will come much faster.  With a hungry dog eager for treats, your dog should start responding quickly and enthusiastically.  You’ll find that your dog will become not only excited about walks, but excited about obedience, and will become a much better listener!

Playing while walking can also make the walk more interesting.  Change up the pace by running and walking and slowing down for a house or two at a time.  Walk backwards with your dog walking towards you (be sure there aren’t any on-coming dogs or potentially startling barkers behind fences).  Teach your dog to walk on your right AND left and switch sides.  Skip, hop, or walk in a zig-zag pattern.  Attach the leash to a harness instead of a collar so the speed changes won’t injure your dog and give your dog cues so that your dog will know things are changing.  Once your dog catches on, he or she will learn to watch you closely to know when a change is coming.

Stick to obedience or speed changes for several weeks until your dog learns to watch you for the next cue.  Once you have your dog’s full attention, and he or she starts to anticipate a cue, you can introduce either speed or obedience and keep to the new routine for a few days, then return to the previous routine.  Once your dog becomes “fluent” in obedience and speed cues, you can mix and match.  This will not only make walks more brain energy intense, it will make it more fun and interesting for both of you.  Even better, you’ll find that your dog will pay more attention to you, less attention to other dogs and people, and become more responsive to cues.

Best of all, you and your super attentive and responsive buddy will become the envy of the neighborhood, inspiring other dog owners to make an ordinary promenade into an outdoor adventure.

September Newsletter: Totaling the Stress Points

Some stress is unavoidable, but too much stress or
unresolved stress can be damaging and dangerous.

The alarm didn’t go off.  The shirt you were going to wear is stained.  The cat threw up.  There’s only enough coffee left to make half a cup.  The kids need lunch money, but you only have a twenty.  There’s a leaf blower going outside.  The cell-phone wasn’t recharged.  The toast is burning.  The land-line phone rings.

“WHAT?” you say when you pick up the phone, just to stop it from ringing.

It’s rare that there’s only one stressor that takes us to our breaking point.  It’s usually the accumulation of many small stressors combined that make us “snap”.  The same can happen with our dogs.  Unless there is a health issue or traumatic event, most behavior changes occur when the dog is overwhelmed.

Stress happens when there is a conflict between a familiar or desired situation and the current situation.  If a shirt out of the closet is usually clean, but the one pulled out is stained, stress is created.  If the stain can be removed or another clean shirt is available, the status quo has returned and the stress fades.  If a dog is fed at 6 p.m. every day and at 6:15 the dog still hasn’t been fed, stress is created.  Feed the dog and the stress diminishes.  But if the stressful situation doesn’t return to “normal,” the stress remains.  Additional unresolved stress builds, resulting in a variety of undesirable behaviors, such as snapping, growling or barking at other dogs, guests, strangers, and sometimes even family members.

We might not always know what is causing our dogs stress and some things that stress our dogs may seem innocuous to us.  Because of this, it’s important to identify stress signals before the breaking point is reached.  If we can identify that our dogs are stressed, we can start looking for ways to reduce the stress.

Some stress symptoms are physical.  A common symptom is panting.  Dogs also pant to cool themselves during warm weather or after exercise.  But, if the dog pants every time you return home or, the dog starts panting before you leave, for example, that is stress. Another common sign is lip licking, similar to the “dry mouth” sensation people get when they are nervous.  Restlessness is another sign.  If the dog has difficulty settling, it is stressed.  Some dogs will drop or pin back their ears.  Some dogs develop sweaty paws. Some dogs suddenly start losing their hair.  Whining can happen at higher stress levels.

Normal behaviors done at inappropriate times are also signs of stress.  Stressed dogs will yawn, scratch, or sniff, all normal behaviors if the dog is tired, has fleas, or finds something interesting on the floor.  But if the dog is supposed to be doing something else and abruptly stops, then starts one of the displacement behaviors, that is a sign of stress.  Imagine scratching your head as you’re trying to think of an answer on a difficult test.  Drinking, urinating/defecating, and eating can also be signs of stress if done suddenly or obsessively (remember all the trips to the bathroom and drinking fountain at your first dance?).

Lick granuloma or lick wound

In addition, what some people think of as “spiteful” behaviors can be expressions of stress.  This can include demand and repetitive barking, shadowing (following people everywhere), ripping up furniture, digging, going through trash, and “loss” of house training habits.  Granulomas (sores on the paws or hip) can appear from obsessive licking, a dog taking a soothing behavior to the extreme.  Separation anxiety, although rarer than previously thought, is another sign of stress.

Once we discover our dog is stressed, the next challenge is to help our dog relax.  We need to find the stressor and ideally remove or stop the cause of stress.  But, that can’t always happen, at which point there are three possible solutions:  habituation, desensitization, or training a coping behavior.  Habituation, the dog ‘getting used to” a situation, can happen if the stress is perceived as non-threatening.  The loss of a household member, like a death or a child leaving for college, can be very stressful, but by keeping to the routine, many dogs will adjust to the change.  Desensitization is training the dog that a perceived threat, such as a vacuum cleaner, is not actually dangerous.   Although the “threat” might seem irrational, emotional reactions, like fear, aren’t based on “rationality” and are therefore difficult to overcome.  Training a coping behavior can help build confidence, and with more confidence, fear and stress diminish.  For example, dogs that stress about strangers in the house, can be taught to go to their crate when guests arrive.  People and animals become calmer when they have control over their environment and when they know what to do when in a stressful situation.   

Rest and relaxation are important for dogs and people

Keeping our dogs relaxed is important for their mental and physical health.  Comfortable dogs  keep us from becoming stressed as well.  If you know a stressful time will be approaching, prepare your dog.  Try to keep as closely to the familiar routine as possible.  Increase exercise, particularly in the morning if you’re going to be away for the day.  If there is going to be construction on your house or a neighbor’s, see if day care is available.  Finally, if your dog is stressed, but you don’t know the cause, or don’t know how to diminish the stress, call a private trainer. Just knowing help is on the way can make life calmer.

Playing the Wingman

“Oh jeeze!  DON’T look!”

“What?”

“Oh, man, That Person is coming this way.”

You and your friend look at the table, the lint on your sleeve, the ice in your glass, your cell phone.  Anywhere but up.

An arm lands on your shoulder.

“Heeeeeey, what are you folks up to tonight?” That Person says.

Do you:

A.    Smile and make nice, hoping That Person will find someone else to bother … SOON!

B.     Tell That Person that you and your friend are having a private discussion.

C.     Don’t say or do anything and hope That Person will go away

D.    Get up and leave

E. Tell That Person to get lost.

We’ve all had this experience at least once.  That Person is often a stranger, can be male or female, and usually isn’t life threatening.  So why is it that we don’t want to meet or even make eye contact with That Person?  Something about That Person makes us uncomfortable.  It’s an aura or scent or something that gives us a bad first impression and the following non-responsiveness to the social cues we’re giving (averted eyes, appearing busy with something, disinterest in the approach) and invasion of personal space further confirm the first impression.  Our response to That Person is determined by our personality and by our previous experiences with similar people and their reaction to our responses.

Are any of the responses wrong? What if That Person doesn’t leave and becomes increasingly obnoxious and invasive?  Is there a point where yelling becomes appropriate?  What about violence? 

As human beings, most of us do not like everybody.  Most of us learn that not everyone will like us.  We use our social skills to be polite and courteous, but we expect others to respect our boundaries and our preferences.  But what happens when these boundaries are crossed?  We have a right to defend our boundaries and ourselves to various degrees.

Going back to the situation, what if your friend, your “wingman,” disagrees with your response? What if your “wingman” sides with That Person?  We expect our friend to side with us, defend us, if necessary, run interference.  Goose to our Maverick, Sam to our Michael Weston, Butch to our Sundance, Ethel to our Lucy.  A good wingman can diffuse the situation, can prevent violence.  Knowing someone has our back makes us feel safe and confident.

Trust your dog's instinct about That Dog

Let’s replay the above scene, dog version.

You and your dog are out for a walk.  Your dog sees That Dog.  Your dog looks away, sniffs at the grass, sits and scratches itself.  The other dog hurries closer, wants to touch noses and sniff your dog’s butt.

The options are more complex this time.  Your dog is bound to you and cannot leave since it is on leash.  Does your dog:

A.   A. Slowly wag its tail and allow the other dog to come nose to nose, sniff butts … and hope the other dog will stop there and leave

B.     Stand stiffly and stare (possibly growl) at the other dog

C.     Stand still, look away, and refuse to interact

D.    Go behind you or as far away from the other dog as the leash will permit

E.     Bark, lunge, and snarl at the dog to prevent it from coming any closer

A dog’s response is similar to a human’s in that it’s based on personality and past experiences.  Did That Dog become increasingly invasive?  Did That Dog attack?  Most importantly, because the dog is restrained on a leash, what did the handler do?

As guardians for our dogs, we have an obligation to teach our dogs proper social skills.  But we also have a responsibility to have our dogs’ back when That Dog is ignoring the proper signals.  With the flight option gone, without our intervention, the last option available for a dog on leash is to fight. 

Ideally, we should be our dog’s “wingman,” scoping out the area for That Dog.  It’s hard to tell who it will be, but it’s usually an off-leash dog charging at your dog.  Despite what the human behind That Dog says, a rushing dog is NOT friendly.  It’s rude.  The approached dog can’t read the body language since it’s the “narrow part” that’s facing him.  A human stranger running towards me would make me nervous as well.  Any species running at another species is suspicious at the very least.  A dog’s response is normally to stand at high alert, ready to fight (since it’s on leash) just in case the rush turns bad.  As the “wingman,” we should step between the dogs and walk away.  If That Dog slows, lowers its head and walks alongside, then it’s up to your dog if the meet should continue.

Looking away, doing other behaviors such as sniffing the ground or and scratching are a dog’s way of saying I’m not interested.  There is no reason to allow another dog to sniff your dog if your dog is uncomfortable.  There is a reason why your dog is uncomfortable.  If sniffing starts, a polite sniff lasts no more than 1-2 seconds.  Any longer, and That Dog is violating your dog’s space.  Step between the dogs and move on.

Most people find that once their dogs can rely on their handlers to intervene on their behalf, they become less nervous about other dogs.    These dogs can become more relaxed and confident when other dogs approach them.

Finally, don’t let your dog be That Dog.  Teach your dog proper social skills.  If another dog looks away from your dog, teach your dog to come to you and respect the other dog’s disinterest.  If your dog is pulling and dragging you to go see another dog, don’t reward the behavior by allowing it to greet the other dog.  Teach him to play it cool (turn around, go the opposite direction, then try again more calmly).  Your dog doesn’t need to force itself to be “friends” with all other dogs.  A few select dog friends are fine.  In fact, your dog really doesn’t need to have any dog friends.  He’s got the best friend and wingman in the world:  You.

The Pre-Owned Problem - August Newsletter



Shelter dogs tend to be good dogs who were never trained.



When I was around 8 years old, my parents decided we could get a dog. I asked my father if we could adopt a dog from the pound. He replied, “Why would we want to take home someone else’s problem?” He knew of what he spoke. 10 years earlier, he had found a dog and took it in. He later sent it to the pound because it constantly jumped the fence and took off after bicyclists and cars (no doubt partially due to my birth and the dog's relocation to the yard and what amounted to solitary confinement). So, my father interviewed several breeders, found one with dogs of good temperament, then evaluated and bought one of their puppies. We house trained Baron,and taught him the basics of sit, down, stay, and come, a few tricks, and how to heel on leash. We had a wonderful family dog who lived with us until he passed away from cancer at the decent age (for that time) of 13 years.
Still, once on my own, I vowed to only have shelter/rescue dogs.  Six dogs later and having volunteered and worked in a shelter, I have to admit my father’s remark has an element of truth to it, especially when adopting adult dogs.  Unless picked up as a stray, an adult dog winds up in a shelter because its was a financial, emotional, and/or physical “problem” for the family.  With the majority of shelter dogs between 9 – 24 months old (dog adolescence) with little to no training, the likely scenario is that the cute puppy with puppy behaviors grew up to be a bigger dog with the same behaviors.  Puppy piddles became doggy puddles.  Jumping play with puppy teeth became rough play with hard pressure dog fangs.  


To make matters more complicated, it usually takes a few months between considering surrendering a dog to a shelter and actually taking it to the shelter, which means the owner's frustration level has increased greatly, usually involving banishing the dog to an out of the way area (as my father did) such as the yard, garage, or basement before making the final decision to get rid of "the problem."  This can create secondary problems, such as barrier frustration and a lack of socialization with people, environments, and other dogs.  Basically, the problem with most shelter dogs is that they were never taught appropriate behaviors for home living.  But that doesn’t mean they can’t learn.

The most important thing for shelter dog adopters to realize is that age does not necessarily equal training.  Assume the dog has never been trained and knows no house rules.  In other words, and treat the adult dog like a puppy.  Take the dog to the vet to make sure it is healthy.  Restrict the dog to one room at first to keep the dog from becoming overwhelmed, to get an idea of what the dog already knows, and to contain any potential damage.  Crate training can be helpful.  Do not leave the dog loose in the yard or house while unsupervised.  Housetrain (even if the dog seems to know), teach the dog to respond to its new name, and take basic manners classes.   Don’t take it to the dog park until it knows its name, reliably comes when called, and you know that it gets along with other dogs.  Plan for the worst, but hope for the best.  Remember that even at best, the dog won’t know your specific rules.   Be consistent and patient.  The dog isn’t being spiteful, stubborn, or stupid.  It just doesn’t know what’s expected.


Typically, the first few weeks to several months are a “honeymoon” period.  Many dogs have had several transitions before arriving at their new home.  They are under duress, evaluating the current circumstances, becoming accustomed to new routines, people, and even sounds.  They are learning what’s safe and what isn’t.  Once they start to feel comfortable with what has been allowed, they start to explore freedoms they want, like suddenly jumping up on the furniture or peeing in the house because no one has said that they couldn’t.  Have patience. Train and retrain.  It will go faster the second time.  You might also realize there are some rules you haven’t considered.


Some common issues such as barking at barriers, barking and lunging at other dogs while on leash, and a fearfulness of new environments and people might also appear. These often developed while the dog was in isolation before the family surrendered the dog.  Many shelters will have identified these issues and should supply guidance for how to help your new dog adjust. Private training can help the dogs adjust to your specific circumstances.



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First impressions matter.  Don't force a match.

Shelter dog or purchased dog, if there is already a dog in the household, and you're adding another dog, use discretion.  Have the dogs meet before making a decision to bring in the new dog.  Introduce the potential new dog in neutral territory.   Generally, dogs of the opposite sex, with the resident dog being older have a better chance of getting along.     If you have more than one resident dog, introduce the dogs individually to the new dog, and then in combinations.    Don’t leave the new dog with the resident dog unsupervised until you are SURE they get along. 

Before adopting from a shelter/rescue group, do some research.  Find out how the shelter/rescue group determines a dog’s adoptability and if they use temperament testing.    Because even the best shelters can be stressful, a dog’s personality might change once it becomes comfortable in its home, it might become more or less active.  However, this could also happen with puppies transitioning into adulthood.  There are no guarantees with any living, learning creatures.

A great book for adult dog adopters is is Dr. Patricia McConnell's new book, Love Has No Age Limit.  It's short, readable, inexpensive, and written by an animal behaviorist (one of my favorite writers about dogs).  It's available on Dr. McConnell's website  as well as Amazon.  Even if you aren't planning on adopting an adult dog in the near future, I strongly recommend it for its insight.

Will my next dog be a shelter/rescue dog?  Absolutely, and most likely not a puppy since I prefer to by-pass the physical limitations and transitions of puppyhood.  Is a shelter dog for you?  With open eyes, an open heart, and patience you might be surprised to find that a shelter/rescue dog is no problem.  No problem at all.