Learning to Settle

Some dogs need help relaxing

With the cooler weather fast approaching, the thought of relaxing in front of the fireplace with a hot drink and our dog at our side sounds ideal.  However, whether due to breed, age, emotional state, or situation, some dogs have great difficulty calming down, especially once they’ve been revved up.  But it is possible to teach a dog to relax or “settle” and actually enjoy down time.  Like any other behavior, it’s a matter of practice and positive experience.

There are two types of “settle.”   The first is a way of preventing a dog from getting too aroused, too “carried away” during an exciting play session, the second is to show the dog how to unwind and enjoy doing nothing in particular.  Both are variations of teaching dogs impulse control, how to maintain their cool when they’d rather be bouncing off the walls or disemboweling a pillow.  Aside from getting calmer behavior, dogs actually become calmer once they figure out how to channel their energy.

Teaching a dog how to rev down from play involves watching the dog for clues that it is getting too excited, but also providing a cue for the dog so it can learn to identify the feelings associated with what will get it a time out.  Play tug or another exciting game with the dog and keep notes of the different stages of excitement.  Usually, a widely wagging tail, bouncy movements, and perky ears are the initial signs.  As the dog gets more excited, there is usually vocalization of some sort, such as barking or play growling.  When a dog is very excited, the pupils are dilated, vocalization becomes more frequent and urgent, and the dog is less responsive/receptive to communication (commands or another dog’s body language), becoming rude and demanding by jumping, body slamming, or mouthing/biting.  Of course, every dog is unique, so it’s important to know your own dog’s behavior.

Incorporate quiet time with play time.

Starting when the dog is already calm, get the dog interested in playing, then throw the ball or play tug for a few seconds.  Before the dog gets excited, stop the game and give a cue, like “Time out!”  Call the dog to do something pleasant and calm, like getting a small snack and then sitting down for a little bit.  Repeat several times a day, then gradually build up the dog's level of excitement before calling “Time out.”  Time out can also be changing gears, such as asking the dog to do a sit or a down stay for a few seconds before returning to play (play will be the reward).  If the dog is too excited to listen, stop play immediately and walk away.   With practice, you should be able to call your dog out of any level of play, ready for the next task at hand.

Teaching a dog to enjoy “down time” is a little more complicated.  It involves setting up a calm situation and “capturing” the moment, while not riling up the dog again. There’s some debate among trainers about rewarding a relaxing “settle,” mostly because by drawing attention to the dog, the dog often becomes excited again.  Also, the settled behavior should become rewarding in itself.  However, teaching a dog what “settle” means is an exercise in self-awareness, something difficult to teach within our own species. 

Plenty of exercise helps in relaxation.

Identifying the mood for the dog can help set the baseline. When the dog is calm and relaxed, quietly mark the moment by saying something like, “Nice settle, Bella.”  Giving the dog a “settling” area, such as a dog bed or mat, is also helpful.  In single dog households, a tie down and a nice chew toy can restrict the dog’s movement, while rewarding it for being in that location.  Cue the behavior by saying, “Settle.”  Bring the chew toy with you as you put the dog in a tie down.  The dog should be with family members who are also relaxing.  Chewing is a calming behavior and as the dog gets a dreamy look on its face, praise it, “Good settle.”  In multiple dog households, it’s advisable to either put all the dogs on tie down or in a separate area to prevent barrier frustration for the dog on tie-down.

Some dogs get so revved up that they lose a sense of their personal space.  We can use massage and Tellington Touch® techniques to get our dogs “re-centered.”  Surprisingly, many dogs will realize that your touch can help calm them and will seek your assistance when they feel out of sorts.  While this isn’t teaching the dog how to settle, it’s providing a sense of calm that it might not otherwise achieve.

Teaching our dog how to become calm is a gift, not only to ourselves, but to our dogs as well. It can prevent behavior from escalating into a fight, keep our dogs focused on us, and allow everyone a moment to collect his or her thoughts.  It brings peace.  Although our moms warned us not to settle, I think she’d be o.k. in this case.