Doing the "Right" Thing

Sharing is caring - so long as it's the cheesecake and not
the martini.

In social situations, when people discover I’m a dog trainer, two questions invariably come up in conversation: what do I think of dog trainer X and is it o.k. to ___ (share food, sleep on the bed, snuggle, etc.) with their dog?  While it’s nice that dog training has come to public attention, along with it have come feelings of confusion and guilt regarding how people interact with their dogs.  And sometimes, that results in a less fulfilling relationship.

As a positive reinforcement trainer, I believe there is nothing more rewarding and reinforcing than joy shared, whether it’s between two people or people and their animals.  So, when people ask me, “is it o.k. that my dog and I ____?”  The first thing I ask them is, “Do you both enjoy ___?”  If the answer is yes, my inclination is to tell them to carry on and have fun.  There are caveats, of course, most of which relate to safety. 

First, is the actual activity safe?  Sharing food is a bonding experience practiced among people as well as animals.  I frequently use cheese and chicken while training since most dogs enjoy the flavors, but also because many commercial “dog treats” contain unnecessary ingredients and are expensive.  However, some “human food” isn’t safe for dogs.  Most people know that chocolate, particularly baking chocolate, is dangerous for dogs. But grapes, raisins, onions, and foods containing xylitol (an artificial sweetener found in mints and gum) can also be dangerous. There is also the manner in which the food is shared.  It wasn’t uncommon for my sister and I alternate licks of ice cream cones or lollypops with our dachshund, but it wasn’t the most sanitary practice considering all the other places our dog’s tongue had been.  Sleeping on the bed together can also be bonding, but very small dogs can be smothered and there is the consideration of what dogs bring into bed with them, including fleas and whatever they’ve tracked on their paws.  Some people ride their bicycles while exercising their dogs. What mechanisms are in place to keep the dog from running in front of the bike or if the dog bolts in another direction?  How is the dog being monitored for exhaustion or overheating?  Always check if the object/activity itself is safe, then, be a bit of a “Nervous Nellie” and picture all the worse case scenarios and incorporate ways to prevent those scenarios from happening.

A second, but very important factor to consider is: is the dog actually enjoying the activity?  Many people assume a wagging tail indicates affirmation, but it can also indicate extreme nervousness, fear, and hyper arousal.  Looking at the rest of the dog can provide more clues to the dog’s state of mind.  Is the body loose or rigid?  Does the dog balk or need considerable coaxing when presented with the activity or object?  Does the dog want to quickly leave after the activity?  Because dogs are experts at putting together cues that will lead to an event, how does the dog act as the components to the activity are assembled?  My dogs react very differently to the opening of the refrigerator versus the opening of the dog towel cabinet. Many people love to hug their dogs, but most dogs at best tolerate the behavior.  It’s restricting.  There are many photographs of people hugging their dogs and the dog looking away, doing a tongue flick, or even making a “whale eye” (showing the whites of their eyes), all signs of stress and discomfort.  On the other hand, many dogs enjoy “snuggling,” sitting or lying against each other, even resting a head, hand, or paw on the other during quiet time.  Sometimes dogs are conflicted.  They want to be with their people, more than they actually enjoy the activity.  Again, look for signs of stress and, if the dog is stressed, either find a way to ease the dog’s fear of the activity or find another activity that everyone can enjoy.

Lie with dogs, expect to get fleas ... and lots of snuggles.

And finally, there are the consequences of the activity. Does the activity encourage desired behavior? Does it create a desired result? Feeding human food to dogs won’t cause begging at the table, but feeding any food, human or dog, while at the table will.  And then there are the calories to consider when indulging in any kind of treat. Playing tug is great, but if fingers are being nipped or the dog is grabbing the tug without an invitation, some training in impulse control should be put into place while playing.  Sharing the couch is great, unless the dog starts guarding it.  Off leash hikes are fantastic, if the dog comes when called. Unwanted consequences can make formerly fun activities sources of frustration.  If the fun is gone, the activity should stop and be re-evaluated.

Sharing joyful moments is what makes having dogs so pleasurable. We like to have fun with our dogs and we like our dogs to have fun with us.   Most of the time, our gut instincts about whether an activity is beneficial or damaging are correct.  And we all know, there’s no greater pleasure in life than being able to share happiness. 

***  The Collaborative Dog is getting class-y!  We will start classes for Basic Training, Walking on Leash, and Coming When Called in September.  Check out our website for more details.